You know that scene in Forrest Gump where Bubba lists off all the dishes you can make with shrimp? I'm kind of like that for buffets. Pizza Buffets. Pupusa Buffets. Sushi Buffets. Dim Sum Buffets. Fried Chicken Buffets. Chinese Buffets. Indian Buffets. Mexican Buffets. Vietnamese Buffets. Mediterranean Buffets. Breakfast Buffets. Even... *shiver* Shoney's Buffets. When I'm traveling and find myself in some rural or quaint mountain town, I am not above eating at a Shoney's Buffet. Preferably for breakfast, though. Their dinner options are lackluster.

No. No, I'm not done. Last week I ate so much food at a hibachi buffet that I took a two hour nap in the back seat of my truck before leaving the buffet parking lot. What of it? I have a figure to maintain, and a name to defend. If you honestly think you are more passionate about buffets than me, I will find you and challenge you under the table. This isn't a fight you want.